Lose Yourself

Look, if you had…

One shot… or one opportunity…

To seize everything you ever wanted… in one moment…

Would you capture it… or just let it slip?

Yo, are your palms sweaty?

Well, hold on to your Mom’s spaghetti and ask yourself…

If you had one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted…

WOULD YOU CAPTURE IT

OR JUST LET IT SLIP.

I am writing to you today to remind you that this IS your opportunity. This is your 1 singular life where you get to pursue EVERYTHING you have EVER wanted.

Stop, I know some of you are rolling your eyes. So don’t.

Instead, ask yourself what you are avoiding?

What thing do you believe has passed you by?

…and why do you believe that?

Have you considered that FEAR might be the answer?

Do any of these conversations with yourself sound familiar?

”I am too old to do that now”
”I am too broken to do that anymore”
”Oh last time I tried that I failed”
”People like me can’t do that”
”I used to love that but I had to give it up”
”If I can’t do that at the highest level then I don’t want to do it”
”I should focus on more important things”

Somewhere along this life journey, we get scared, and then moments start passing us by as we hide and avoid them.

But don’t worry I am no different.

For years I stopped seizing my moments and as a result, I lost touch with myself. I felt like lots of things that made me who I was were exactly that, who I was. I started to leave pieces of me behind.

But why did I do that? Why do humans go through this life and start to cut things out, change to fit, and stop dreaming? Why do we stop being ourselves, and stop believing in ourselves?

Why do we stop discovering new pieces, stop trying new things, and stop being open?

Why do we close off, cling to what we know is safe, and go back to our comfort zones when we hit the same wall too many times?

Well it’s because of FEAR.

We are human. We have this amazing brain that can do amazing things, but also it can overprotect us. It can use our past to identify patterns and signal us to be careful and unfortunately be careful for a lot of us becomes be fearful.

Then we easily decide something isn’t “worth it” anymore once we can’t see the end result, the time when things get better and we hide behind “I’m too old for that now,” or “I don’t like that anymore.”

Time and negative experiences fatigue our minds and bodies. Chronic pain, stress trauma etc. spiral us into avoidance and we get tunnel vision on the negative. Then we remove ourselves from everything that “might” go wrong or make things worse.

Yet when we open up again or are forced to, things do often improve and new opportunities arise. Plus if we persist a bit and don’t totally give up we often get a better shot at taking advantage of new opportunities when they come…

But noooo it’s easier to avoid everything because the “potential” of a fallout hurts as much as the real thing… or so our thoughts will tell us.

“Plan for the worst, hope for the best” they always say. Well, it’s hard to hope for the best when you stop at planning for the worst and then start fearing the worst.

A friend told me recently that FEAR stands for:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

He told me this after I told him I was nervous about playing competitive basketball again. I was genuinely fearful, I would get hurt, I would play like shit, and I would be nothing like I used to be.

I felt this despite the fact I had been practicing and I have always kept my body in shape. I felt this despite the fact I had been working through my recent injuries and had worked through my old ones for years. No matter the REAL evidence that was in front of me, I believed I was destined to relive those experiences. I believed I was destined to FAIL.

I wanted to play so badly, and my brain wanted to remind me to just be careful and instead, I took it as be fearful Connor
“you’re too old for this”
“you are too injury prone”
“just quit again”

So how has it gone so far? Well…

Week 1) I played terribly, and scored 2 points… but man was it ever great to be BACK.

Week 2) I played better, I let go of my fears and I had so much more fun. Only 8 points but who’s counting lol.

Week 3) I played better, got more competitive, and felt more like myself again. Oh and I actually dunked again after not being able to for a year because of a foot injury. How many points, who really cares? (me sort of lol)

Week 4 and beyond- well it just keeps getting better and I just keep getting looser and having more fun!

So how will the playoffs go? Who knows? My fears could come true, but they probably won’t and now I just want to win again and that feels GREAT.

Contrary to my fearful brain I am playing competitive basketball again and I am doing so because I finally decided whatever version of playing I could have mattered more to me than what I used to have. I wanted to be around something I loved again and I wasn’t going to waste any more valuable time manifesting negative bullshit.

My belief became stronger than my doubt and my joy became more important than my fear.

So how can you apply this for yourself?

Well, START doing the things you are scared of but want back, and do so in little micro ways. Keep the stakes low, keep it light, and fun and slowly build up and see what you can get back to. Don’t stop trying, just try differently if you hit a roadblock. If you can’t play right now, coach, volunteer, and be around whatever it is you love. Your time will come.

DON’T take on other people’s stories or other people’s problems. Your injuries, challenges, and losses are completely your own and unique to you. Don’t take advice from people who have sat on the sidelines their whole life. Whatever issue Aunt Margaret has with her knee is completely hers, if you have prepared yourself to be back, then just let it fly!

LET GO of the outcome. Remove the expectation of what this needs to look like and simply BE present. You will find bits of enjoyment in that and that enjoyment will grow and grow. You will find yourself along the way.

Follow that up by giving yourself credit for being back and trying. Admit you want this, you love this and you are gonna keep going for it. Remind yourself that whatever your starting point is now it is still classified as you being BACK. You might even surprise yourself with where this old road takes you.

You don’t have to be as good as you were, you don’t have to make up for lost time, you don’t have to be anything but yourself right now. You will find the happiness you seek if you allow yourself to be playful again.

I stopped playing competitive basketball almost 6 years ago and avoided playing at times altogether because I told myself it wouldn’t be the same, I wasn’t good enough etc. Basketball was my first love, and I let it go.

I feared it couldn’t mean as much to me if it looked different and I was wrong. It looks the same in some ways and different in others and all of it just makes me happy.

It’s time to get back to what you love, or what you have always wanted to try.

It’s time to seize everything you have ever wanted!