Pieces
Puzzle Thought #1
I hate puzzles…
Why?
Hmm well, for a couple of reasons…
💡They take too long, more than one sitting most times
💡They take focus but not quite enough that I am like super stimulated
💡Is it really a challenge? You can’t do the same puzzle twice, can you?
So what is really the point…
As I sat drinking my coffee this morning staring at my roommate’s puzzle I thought hmmm let’s give it a try.
I placed zero pieces in the 20 minutes I spent staring at this puzzle.
Why?
Well because my brain was elsewhere the entire time. A common problem I seem to be having lately.
Frankly my brain at the moment looks a lot like this puzzle- put together in some areas, and a mess in others. I’m stuck again. Mulling over the past, worried about the future, and not in the moment enough to start putting more of the pieces back together.
I have tried racing to a result when really I’m realizing I need to slow down and try to sit still. Feel everything and find my footing. Place one piece at a time.
So I am sending this message out early to keep up with my progress and structure. That has to be part of putting this personal puzzle back together.
But also I am sending this out early to clear off the rest of my week so I can create more space for myself to keep sifting through the pieces that are still stuck in the box.
I will keep you posted on the progress.
Apparently, you can put a puzzle back together a second time.
Puzzle Thought #2
So I wanted to gently follow up on the first message with a touch more perspective for all of you and a couple of pieces added to my puzzle!
I simply want to share that as cliche as it sounds everything happens for a reason and I am exactly where I need to be even if it sucks and I want to fight it.
As tough as it was, I realized I needed to slow down and sit alone in front of my own puzzle.
So I am deciding to be okay with that and not fight myself and my distaste for puzzles any longer. So this message is just supposed to give you the freedom to do the same if you need to. It is not to seek attention or remind you about how sad things can be sometimes LOL.
It might have felt like a lot for me to share that I feel like I’m half in pieces… and that is exactly why I did it.
70% of my life challenges have probably come from fear of being honest about my feelings, thoughts, and needs.
So I am here to tell you it is okay to feel like part of you is in pieces, and it is even more okay to take the time and space you need to pick them up and put them back together again.
It is okay to feel, happy, sad, scared, worried, angry, excited, etc. while you sit in that space and it is still okay to have moments like that when things start to get better! This is one puzzle of many unfortunately 🙄 (ugh puzzles)
The #1 thing I have learned recently is truly letting go of something that makes you feel deeply in any way, requires you to open up to yourself and feel it all.
…and do that in whatever way and timeframe you need to.
You cannot worry about everything or everyone else all the time, sometimes you need to focus on yourself and that IS OKAY.
People will understand or they won’t, but it is not about anyone else. It has to be about you first, for it ever to be about anyone else, or everything else in your life.
You have to find and place your pieces together because unfortunately, no one can do your puzzle for you. It’s hard to accept that, and that big puzzle feels scary to tackle alone, but everyone is on that journey, not just you and I.
Now it won’t all be ALONE, but some of it always will be. Other people and things will come and help you place pieces here and there but at the end of the day, you have to be the leader of your own journey, and strength comes from embracing that.
So those are the reps I am currently putting in, still at 32 I am trying to get stronger and those puzzle pieces still feel oddly heavy, and maybe they always will. So I am taking it one day at a time and trying to be okay with whatever comes of it.
Anyway, these two newsletters are a message and reminder that if you need to take space and work on your own puzzle then you must.
I am still learning how to do that but so far I know that it takes…
Less fear and more feelings, less distraction and more space, less everything else, and more you.
Accept where you are, stay present, and sprinkle in the positive while feeling through all the negative. Things will come together in the way they need to… even if a few pieces are missing for a while…
🙄(ugh fucking puzzles, why can’t people make sure all the pieces are back in the damn box)
Your life, your puzzle, you have to take care of your own pieces,
Puzzle Thought #3
When you are doing a puzzle and you catch yourself sifting through the box of pieces looking for one you recognize…
That is like your brain when it is stuck analyzing the past or trying to plan the future.
But it’s funny… if you just pick one piece up at random then look ahead at the puzzle and try to place it instead, your brain recognizes the right spot after a just few moments of scanning.
When you are stuck in your own box of thoughts… slow down.
Stop what you are doing, get up then look ahead…
…and just start walking, you will soon realize where you need to go after just a few minutes of scanning.
Keep your head up, keep walking and you will be surprised what you can accomplish after putting a few pieces together!
