Making Mistakes
Despite what you may think, the last mistake you made was not a catastrophe.
Odds are you are creating a worse story in your head than the one perceived by others or the actual facts of the situation.
The worst part is, if you are like me after you blow a mistake out of proportion, you let it fester and grow in your mind.
You let it grow to the point where the facts of the original situation are a bit blurry, and your awful rendition of the moment is all that you remember. Not to mention that this mistake probably happened three weeks ago and you are still letting it bother you today.
So let’s all come together for an AHA Moment and reset our perspective on mistakes.
Here are the facts about mistakes…
💡We ALL make them.
💡Mistakes are meant to happen, we actually learn more from our failures than we do from our successes and most successful people don’t make fewer mistakes, they just make fewer of the same mistakes.
💡Time heals all wounds… even the ones that you can’t see. Mental wounds often need a different kind of care, but should be worked on just like physical ones. If your mistake results in either physical or mental wounds, they will in fact heal.
💡How you react determines how bad mistakes become. Catastrophizing, sulking, and talking down to yourself, only hurts you more and often ends up hurting those around you. Moving forward with new considerations as soon as possible is the key.
So what do you do when you make a mistake?
Look around- did this only affect you? Like truly are you the only one involved?
If you are and you still have all your limbs, then start the moving on process immediately. Learn from the mistake, plan for a better decision in the future, and MOVE ON. No matter the cost, the frustration, or the guilt.
You will have lots of moments to do better, don’t give this one more power over you. Learn from your losses, build confidence out of your wins, and always step back up to the plate.
Now what if this involves someone else?
Well, these are a bit harder and apologies don’t always solve everything.
Unfortunately, when you have hurt someone else because of a mistake, you are at the mercy of how they feel about the situation. The timeline for moving forward is someone else’s and you can’t force them to be okay with your actions.
In this case, you need to:
Listen when they apologize, if they say they are okay, if they continue to express that they accept your apology, you have to accept it as well.
If you still feel bad about what you did, and the effect it had on someone, only time and opportunity for better actions will allow you to “make up” for it. You have to accept things as they are and do better next time.
If they don’t accept your apology and this is not something you can come back from then, you need to accept fault with no one’s absolution and then prove you can do better on your own. This will be tough, but it will be necessary. Again don’t give this more power than it deserves regardless of how bad a mistake.
You burned a bridge, and it is gone. Luckily for you, that means you know how to build the next one even stronger.
Anyway, let’s be honest…
You missing your deadline at work yesterday was a mistake but you won’t be fired over it.
Last week when you threw a football in the house and broke your wife’s grandmother’s porcelain doll, it wasn’t the end of your marriage.
And finally 2 months ago when you stopped going to the gym because you didn’t know if you were doing any exercises right and felt embarrassed well, not a single person remembers and that is part of getting better at something.
Whatever you are holding on to today, let it go, move forward, and step back up to the plate.
You WILL get better, you WILL start winning!
Your Coach,
Connor
PS. Do you remember when you were a kid and you punched your sister in the arm and she cried? Then you immediately yelled and said oh hit me back so we are even.
Mistakes didn’t work like that then, so making things “even” doesn’t work now.
(message to a younger me, sorry Mackenzie, Alex and Taylor)
